The End of my Mat Leave…

This is the third maternity leave I’ve had the chance to take.  The first one I was on leave for 10 months, the second one 11 months and this one 10 months again.  Usually I am so geared up to get back to work, but this time around I have to admit that I have mixed feelings.  I had so many goals that I wanted to accomplish while I was on maternity leave.  The list was quite long.  That list of To Dos is still just as long it seems.  I guess I’ll have to figure out how to fit those things in while I am working.  It may be possible – who knows.  But for everything that I didn’t get done while I was on maternity leave, it sure flew by and I created a ton of memories.

There was the trip to Vancouver with the family.  That was a vacation we won’t soon forget.  There was the crazy trip to Winnipeg in the early spring where we were all plagued with vomiting.  There was the week at the cottage.  There was the parties in our old backyard.  There were days at the Science Centre, days with the family…  so much time.  Hours and hours spent talking with my sister who was also on mat leave.  All this time to think and dream and grow.

I still have to finish my book I started writing.  I suppose I should relish in the fact that I started a book.  That’s something.  Now to finish it.  I still want to scrapbook my sister’s wedding cards.  That was on my list.  I got our Mission Statement and Values mounted, that’s been hanging around for 6 years.  Not to mention we did move to a new province.  That wasn’t really part of my original maternity leave plan.

It’s been amazing.  We are so fortunate to get to take maternity leave and focus on the family.  But it’s time to go back to the world that I know. Tomorrow morning, I’ll log back in to work.  I’m afraid it will be a little anti-climatic as I bring my coffee cup over to the Office with me, sit at my TV tray with my laptop and log in to my phone.  My desk won’t be here for a few weeks.  And I don’t have a clue what my first day will be…  I’ll be floundering without a map for a some time while I figure my way around again, this time from a remote location in the middle of nowhere.

Should be interesting.  My company wrote me a ticket, I get to decide where it will take me.  As liberating as that may be, it’s also extremely scary.  I don’t want to disappoint, I don’t want to fail…. I want to be great at my job, but I don’t know what all that will entail yet.  Here’s where faith comes in.  It will be great, I will be great.  This is good.

So today.  My last day on maternity leave where I can do anything I want to do…  I could clean up this disaster of a house that still suffers from the barage of children that slaughtered pumpkins last night.  Or I could have a nap since the 4am baby waking up brought me wide awake and unable to get back to sleep.  Or I could build a fire and curl up and read.  Maybe I’ll write.  But I better decide fast, because the days already begun!

Here’s to the last day.  Tomorrow starts a new chapter.  My life is so full of chapters.  Who knows what happens next?